Right. So if you’re here to read about all happy sunshiney “Cancer has been a blessing” stories, just keep going. Thus far, I have made posts with a pretty healthy dose of humor and irreverence (this one won’t be much different) but I think it is important to be real. Transparent. I have had a lot of encouragement from you, dear readers, saying that you have appreciated me sharing my story the only way I know how – real & honest.
My good attitude has not been a farce. It is not an act. It is really real. Forever it was very unreal to me that this was happening…again… and I’ve already beat it before so I have a winning record. As such, it’s easy for me to kind of pretend like it’s not happening… UNTIL –
Until I start losing my hair and have it all cut off. Until I have to make all my plans for every day in a way such that I am not more than a few steps from an available toilet. Until I don’t sleep for the random shooting pains in my arms and legs. Until my feet are so swollen I have to wear my Teva flip flops to the law office I own and run.
Now it’s real. It’s ugly. And it’s only fair I share that part, too. So last post my hair was falling out at the beach. Well, we got back Thursday night to a very clean house because my fabulous Carolyn came that day, and puppies at home because kind neighbors kept them here so we didn’t have to pay out the nose for boarding. My hair stylist, the fabulous Kristi McEver (whom I’ve been seeing since 2011), worked me in on Friday morning for a cute short ‘do. I had *just enough* to donate to CWHL (Children with Hair Loss) when I got it cut..) here is a photo montage of all that and my sassy cut.
After that adventure we went to see Nannie. I played Baptist Hymn #470 (Because He Lives) for her for Easter and then played and sang some more and Mrs Rogers (Nan’s roommate) sang, too! I got cornered a little by the activity director begging me to come back and play for the residents. I’ve only been playing 3 months so I don’t have a whole set! Ha.
But I did play Brown Eyed Girl in the cafeteria before we left.
Then on Saturday we did fun things and my momma made us lunch and my Grandmomma made me delicious strawberry cake – well white cake with strawberries. It was to die for.
My baby seester Casey is the family photographer and I swear she sent me photos but the only one I can find is this, which sums up the day pretty good (that’s my cool bro in law, Brady…)
Then Saturday night Will was baptized at the Easter Vigil. He also had his first communion and his confirmation. It was amazing. I wasn’t feeling great but it was an amazing time. Here he is with out Priest, Father Rafa:
I also remembered that I needed to be the Easter Bunny (in reality I never told my kids about an Easter bunny but I do make them baskets…)
And here are some older Easter photos of my adorable peeps. (See what I did there? 😂)
Anyway, I got up and had to be a lector at 9:30 mass on Sunday and then when I left, knowing I was exhausted I was going to get Publix subs but duh – it was Easter and they were closed so I went through Steak ‘n Shake. Instead of the BLT or grilled chicken sandwich I was going to get, I made a poor choice of the mushroom Swiss burger. Well before I had finished eating it I was having a bathroom emergency. Ugh.
Everything went downhill from there. I never got over that burger and blamed myself. On Monday evening I sent a message to my chemo care team and was asked to provide a stool sample which I did on Tuesday. Today I learned I have something called C. Diff. It’s basically a cousin to E. coli. Bad gut-eating bacteria. I feel terrible but I started the medicine for it 2.5 days ago so I’m praying. I knew it wasn’t just chemo. My hands and feet are super swollen. I can’t wear my wedding rings even. Not even the skinny band part.
I did get to take a photo with myself as per my usual visit to the cancer center to return my stool sample.
I’m also experiencing the expected peripheral neuropathy mostly in my tingly numb hands. I talked to the NP tonight. She wasn’t able to offer much help. Just that I have to suffer through the pain of the C Diff. I see my oncologist next Thursday and will hopefully have my 3rd cycle of Brentximab Friday the 13th (ooooohhhhh)
All I can say is I’m glad tomorrow is Friday. It has not been on of my better cancer weeks for sure. But brighter days are ahead. And I have learned a new song on the ukulele for you all but it will have to wait to be recorded.
Alright. That’s about all I got in me today. Much love. Shiny happy people hugs to everyone.